Toby had his transition morning at his new school yesterday.
I don’t know whether it’s a symptom of a crazy busy life, or a coping mechanism, but I don’t tend to think about events until they happen. I was SO excited for Toby that he was going back to his new school again, that it was a surprise when I started to feel really anxious on the journey there. I absolutely hate the word ‘anxious’ because professionals use it all the time as a cover all for emotions that are usually cross, frustration, ‘you aren’t listening to me’, ‘you don’t know my child’ etc. But yesterday I did feel anxious. It’s a huge change and in the same way that the transfer for Rosie to her school felt, it all feels too good to be true.
I think it’s partly because Toby is going into an established class - I think he’s the only transition child - there maybe another but there only 9 children and I’m sure there were only 8 previously. I actually find this rather surprising given Toby is a Year 6 (end of primary school) transfer. There’s usually lots of children which started to make me wonder where all the other Year 6 children are!! We did get ahead of the Y7 appeals though by appealing Y6.
Anyway I digress. I’m lucky because you could drop Toby on the moon and he would crack on and be happy. So I didn’t really have any worries about him. But as I stood at the Reception desk, I don’t know any of the staff in Reception, let alone anyone else, other than the teachers who visited us a couple of weeks ago. I don’t even know the name of the SENCO.
But just as with Rosie, it’s a huge trust thing, I’m handing my child over to a school that I don’t know much about other than it’s got a fantastic reputation, and I just have to cross my fingers that I made the right decision. As Rosie said to me last night, ‘you chose the best school there was’ and that’s true. There was nothing else that ticked all my boxes for continued academic education with the fun elements of school at the right level for Toby. Yet as he came out and was mute - unable to tell me what he did all morning - I had such a big wobble. All the other children were with parents or mainly TAs, and were telling them about their morning. All I knew is that Toby played Snakes and Ladders which got a thumbs up. But did he play with a TA or his classmates? What else did he do? I have no idea. But Toby was the only silent child. Does he really fit in there?
Yes of course he does, but he suddenly felt even more disabled being there, than he does in current mainstream school. Yes it’s a communication thing that we need to sort - but who do I contact? Can his travelling home-school ipad continue to travel? How will school communicate?
I think going back to what I said earlier, this isn’t a class of new starters - and we have to find our feet and how it all works but by bit. But I do kind of wish they had had a parent intro session. How do I know when PE day is? Who do I give current reports to? Are they managing to understand Toby enough?
We do have an Annual Review on the second week of term, but I think I need to ask some questions this week. I feel more anxious now than excited. Toby himself will be absolutely fine but I’m feeling lost.