All alone…

This weekend I am alone for two nights. It’s quite possibly the first time for over 14 years….

Rosie is away at Guide camp and Toby is away too. That just leaves me, the kitties and a carefully placed pile of cat food so that they don’t starve! Thanks Rosie!

What is odd in life is you never have time when you need it most, but when you have time you either have nothing to do or are so overwhelmed by choices that you don’t know where to begin. I think this weekend is precious solid time to write transition paperwork for new school; EHCP paperwork for the Annual review and hopefully my final two complaints. Then hopefully I can put tribunal behind me and move onto a fresh start at new school.

As I sit writing this I’m enjoying the silence. But I know I’m going to miss Toby like crazy in September. I so enjoyed the freedom of lockdown where we could educate to suit us all. We achieved so much in such a short space of time. It was hard once school were involved again. Flexischooling with part time school and part time home tutor has been superb for Toby. He has made so much progress in both settings - he can now count in 2’s, 5’s and 10’s and is spelling up to 5 letter words. His reading is improving although his writing is going backwards. We are struggling because he’s got many letter / number formation faults which are ingrained from bad habits picked up in the early years. I have found flexischooling exhausting - always having to have a reasonably tidy house; doing washing when everyone has gone; heating the house in winter; but just having to fit my life into 1-2 hour max slots x twice a day if I’m not needed gor something. If the postman knocks then that’s your work time gone for the day. I’m constantly on edge for the tutors / SLT / taxi to arrive or leave. Its exhausted me, my knees and my back. But it’s been worth it for Toby. If I flexischooled again it would definitely be a 2/3 day split. Much more sane!

Rosie is a constant worry. She’s at that secretive teenage phase where all mums are is embarrassing and they don’t understand and need to stay at arms length. I can see autism traits more clearly now but it doesn’t mean I know what to do. All I can do is be there for her and try where I can to support. I worry constantly about her and her future. But equally Rosie is made of stern stuff. She’s been motivated to completely find her camping kit (after 3 years in storage) and she completely packed for herself using a list. Including all her diabetes emergency supplies all in a cool bag. I asked some basic checking questions but otherwise I trust that she packed correctly. She was also motivated and thoughtful enough to ensure that the cats and I were ok.

I have cat food on the table; coke and lemonade in the fridge; shopping bags by the door for Tesco tomorrow; a hoovered floor; washing all went away and bins got emptied. All without being asked. Rosie is an utter superstar and I’m quite sure she has enough drive and determination to overcome any barriers that her disabilities may try to put in her way.

This weekend I am alone for two nights. It’s quite possibly the first time for over 14 years….Rosie is away at Guide camp and Toby is away too. That just leaves me, the kitties and a carefully placed pile of cat food so that they don’t starve! Thanks Rosie! What is odd in life is you never have time when you need it most, but when you have time you either have nothing to do or are so overwhelmed by choices that you don’t know where to begin. I think this weekend is precious solid time to write transition paperwork for new school; EHCP paperwork for the Annual review and hopefully my final two complaints. Then hopefully I can put tribunal behind me and move onto a fresh start at new school. As I sit writing this I’m enjoying the silence. But I know I’m going to miss Toby like crazy in September. I so enjoyed the freedom of lockdown where we could educate to suit us all. We achieved so much in such a short space of time. It was hard once school were involved again. Flexischooling with part time school and part time home tutor has been superb for Toby. He has made so much progress in both settings - he can now count in 2’s, 5’s and 10’s and is spelling up to 5 letter words. His reading is improving although his writing is going backwards. We are struggling because he’s got many letter / number formation faults which are ingrained from bad habits picked up in the early years. I have found flexischooling exhausting - always having to have a reasonably tidy house; doing washing when everyone has gone; heating the house in winter; but just having to fit my life into 1-2 hour max slots x twice a day if I’m not needed gor something. If the postman knocks then that’s your work time gone for the day. I’m constantly on edge for the tutors / SLT / taxi to arrive or leave. Its exhausted me, my knees and my back. But it’s been worth it for Toby. If I flexischooled again it would definitely be a 2/3 day split. Much more sane! Rosie is a constant worry. She’s at that secretive teenage phase where all mums are is embarrassing and they don’t understand and need to stay at arms length. I can see autism traits more clearly now but it doesn’t mean I know what to do. All I can do is be there for her and try where I can to support. I worry constantly about her and her future. But equally Rosie is made of stern stuff. She’s been motivated to completely find her camping kit (after 3 years in storage) and she completely packed for herself using a list. Including all her diabetes emergency supplies all in a cool bag. I asked some basic checking questions but otherwise I trust that she packed correctly. She was also motivated and thoughtful enough to ensure that the cats and I were ok.I have cat food on the table; coke and lemonade in the fridge; shopping bags by the door for Tesco tomorrow; a hoovered floor; washing all went away and bins got emptied. All without being asked. Rosie is an utter superstar and I’m quite sure she has enough drive and determination to overcome any barriers that her disabilities may try to put in her way. I love my children so very very much.

And yes right now I miss them both terribly….but I’m going to get time to get the boring paperwork done…. so that I can enjoy them both when they get back.